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The Journal of Doom
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6th-Dec-2007 01:06 pm - cutest thing ever
me
I called home the other day just to talk to the fam for a bit. I ended up talking to one of my younger brothers. He's 10 years old and he's adorable. He has a slight problem with the letter r. Like many young children it has a slight w sound when he talks. Robin becomes Wobin on many an occasion. He was telling me about this project he was working on in school. He had to do a report on the 12th president of the US, Zachary Taylor. He then informs me that he can indeed name off all of the presidents. So I tell him to show me. He begins- so I get on the computer really fast and bring up a list so I can check him as he went. He was doing super good. But keep in mind the r to w thing. I loved listening to him, especially when he got to presidents that I don't think most Americans would recognize their names, Millard Fillmore, Chester A. Arthur, William H Harrison. I have two favorite parts from the entire listing. The first went something like this
Ian: "Wobert Nixon, Jimmy Caw-dwr, Wonald Wegan...or was is Wonald Wegan then Jimmy Caw-dwr?"
Robin: "Gerald Ford, Jimmy Carter, Ronald Regan"
Ian: "Oh yeah. Gewrald Fowd, Jimmy Caw-dwr...
and he continues. If you see me and remember this story have me tell it to you, I can say the words better then type them out. But I love our new president Robert Nixon. Then he gets to the last three and says, "George H W Bush, William J. Clinton, and George W. Bush." He used a full name there with Bill and didn't leave out any initials.
Oh yeah and Rutherford B Hayes- that was another great pronunciation. Man alive, I love my family.
22nd-Nov-2007 12:53 am - Happiness.
me
Yesterday I was talking with a friend when he asked me what is happy. As in a definition, not necessarily what makes you happy, but just what is happy. Happiness has been a topic of interest in my mind for about the past 6 months or so. What is happiness? I've been thinking about this for a little while now. I think I've come to the decision that happiness is simply a state of mind. You have to decide to be happy. Things can't make you happy...well they can, but only for a moment, and I don't think it is true happiness that you receive from material things. People fit the same way. They can make you happy, but they can't keep you happy unless you decide to be happy for yourself. I think situations can have sway in your attitude, but even then it is you deciding to make the best of whatever comes along. It is up to you to find the one good thing and work with that, or to turn the situation over and find the good in it. I think back to this amazing movie Life is Beautiful. It is one of my most favorite movies possibly ever. It is amazing to watch the main character, Guido, and see his optimism continue to stay strong throughout the entire film. His life gets worse as the movie runs, but he still stays positive and happy for his son. I also think that there are certain things that we can have in our lives that can strengthen or weaken this happiness. In my life, Family, the Gospel, and friends all strengthen my happiness. But even with all those things, if I just sit around and find those things in life that are going wrong, then life will continue to suck. But if I take an active role in life and decide to be the happy person that I am, then life rocks- even if the situation is the same.
So, what is happiness? Happiness is me deciding that I would rather laugh then cry, I would rather smile than complain, and that I will have an amazing time here in the world, because I only get to do it once.
17th-Nov-2007 11:08 pm - Done.
me
 Sometimes life seems like it just gets so crazy out of control. I feel like I'm just falling, and I'm falling so fast that I can't grab onto anything sticking out from the sides, they just slide out of my grasp, and I go faster and faster towards the ground. Knowing that the ground is ultimate destruction. I know that as soon as I hit I'm gone, done, over, but I can't find anything to slow me down. There is no safety net this time. What do you do when you've reached this point? I don't even feel like there are any options at this point. I think I'm done. tapping the mat, I want out.
29th-Oct-2007 02:29 am - you don't see me anymore
me
I stopped writing in this a while ago...like last year I believe. Since then a lot has changed. I went back to Russia. I was there from May to the end of July. I love it there. I lived with this lady named Galena...she was 68 and crazy. She woke us up with a bell "ding-a-ling-a-ling, devushkey, kto hocyet prosnutcya?" "Girls, who wants to get up?" Oh man, so many days I just wanted to scream back, "NO ONE!!! No one wants to wake up right now!! Who wants to stop ringing that stupid bell?!!!" But I didn't yell back, which is good seeing as I typically can't be understood when I first wake up. But yeah, Russia is amazing...the world is amazing. I really miss the tea, Russia juice, public transportation, I miss our amazing teachers. I want to go back so much.
I don't know how to explain it, there is just something about that place that is in it's own way really peaceful. I mean for sure sometimes it was really hard, people didn't understand me always, I didn't always understand them, sometimes I missed my family and friends back in the states a heck of alot. But at the same time it is really freeing to be there. I didn't have people expecting things of me, no one to let down. I just lived for myself and I focused on my own life...not in a selfish way, more just an introspective fixing Robin sort of way. I had things figured out in Russia and I knew where I was going. Now I don't. Life has been really tough since I've come back to the good ol' US of A. I don't so much fit here anymore. That's hard to explain, and I don't really feel like trying right now. And I don't think anyone reads this anymore so I don't have an audience to explain things to. As long as I know what I'm talking about then it's fine. The fam has changed a ton, the friends out here are married or are slowing letting go, and it's really hard to make new friends. I keep thinking I've found some really good people to hang out with and all, people who really seem to understand me, and make me laugh soooo much and all but they keep falling through. All for very different reasons, but every time it's just as hard...possibly getting harder each time. I'm just tired of starting over. I'm starting to think the best course of action is not to rely on people and then you won't get hurt as bad. Yeah whatev'. 
Anyway, so back in school, semester is about half way over...crazy. Just 9 credits this semester, and working about 25 hours a week. It's tiring, but it keeps me busy, so that's good right? Wow. yeah. I miss the little brother way much. He's currently out in Russia teaching people the gospel, and trying not to freeze. He's doing way good, and when he gets home we'll be able to speak in Russian and nobody will understand us. Muahahaha. He comes home next August...so he's still got a bit. 
Oh and I got to call New Zealand and London a while ago- for work business. It was good fun though. Lots of wonderful accents and I loved it sooooo much. 
Phrase for the week: Good Night!! An expression said in great amazement and shock to express said amazement and shock. yes.
2nd-Jan-2006 05:21 pm(no subject)
me
I want to be a green bean.


Yeah so I'm back from school, and am taking a break for a bit. I'm heading to Russia in a couple of weeks, and will be staying there for 5 months. then after Russia, I'll come home for about a week or so, then head back out to school for summer term. The day after I flew home I had to get my wisdom teeth pulled. It wasn't too bad, they had me on some really good drugs.... hehe. Only it kinda stinks, because i don't really remember a single thing that happened that day. My mom said that I acted normal and all, just slept a ton. But the times that I was awake, I don't remember what I did or said. Heh, oh well...lost a few days there. but I was fine by christmas day to enjoy some good eats.
Oh man, so far this break it has been soooo insanely warm here. It was 53 degrees today...what the heck??? Do we not have winter here....apparently not. Haha, I guess I should just be happy though, it's a nice break from the snow in Provo, and the massive amount of snow I will be experiencing soon. Russia is gonna be sooooo cold....I think I might die...and that my friends would be quite tragic.
It was good to come back, I had a good christmas. I got a magnificent digital camera. I have taken some really cute ones of the kids (meaning my little siblings). And I'll take it to Russia with me so I can take some wonderful pictures, and I'll be sending them back home, and emailing them out every once in a while.
Well thats all I have for now. I need to go write a letter to the Projects...haha. I'm gonna miss them. those were some good times. Alrighty then, I'll hapefully be better at updating in Russia. Catch ya later.
Oh yeah, and good word for the time--> Keokuk....it's a city in the most south eastern part of iowa, look it up on a map. I want to live there for a bit, just so I can say the name a ton!!!! Keokuk!!!! HAHAHA
13th-Dec-2005 05:50 pm - Exhausted ramblings
me
I have most recently surpassed tired and have hit exhausted. Don't mind any spelling errors in this. I went to bed last night at 2 am, then woke up at 6:30 am, left my house at 7:45 ish, drove up to SaltLake City falling asleep randomly along the way but only for seconds at the time. I wan not driving. then did 2 1/2 housr of research...didn't find much of what I needed, but some was helpful. then, come home, fell asleep for 2 hours...was not supposed to sleep. Came to campus at 4, and am writing a paper, which is not a good idea to do in the state that I am in. But its coming along...if I just get two sections done tonight, I will fell better...papers due on Friday. I have 2 more finals both schedules. One tomorrow, on Friday. Then wedding reception for Derrick on Saturday...I might go with my neighbor Dan, if the thought of going to a wedding reception doesn't scare him...hehe. sigh. I'm plum tuckered out. Its bad when I get thie tired, because I'll be somewhere and I can't remember how I got theree. like I don't really remember coming up to campus today...but I did apparently because I'm here. haha. oh man, going homes gonna be dangerous tonight...maybe I'll make one of my neighbors come and pick me up. Thats a good ides. I need to finish my papre. good night all.
9th-Dec-2005 04:30 pm - Slowly dying.....
me
Oh man, this semester is just killing me. classes are rough. I have a huge paper to write, and not enough information to write about. I have to get together with my professor to try to sort some stuff out, but he can't meet with me until Monday, so I can't really even work on this paper until then, and its due next Friday. So I know I can hit the deadline, but I was really hoping to finish it before my finals started. I've got 4 exams next week. I think I'll do decent on the exams...on account of I am a genius...or sure do wish I was. sigh, I don't really want to come home. there is a boy out here that I have a crush on, and the thought of not seeing him for 6 months is rather saddening. Nothing is really happening between us, but I think it is mostly because we both know that I'm leaving. And who knows what will happen while I'm gone, i'll probably come back and he'll be married. Well whatever happens, happens, and such is that. We've been getting loads of snow. It is pretty, but no fun to walk in. Heh. I have to go to this kids wedding reception next Saturday...I don't really want to go, but I love his family, so I will. Hmmmmm thats all I have to say. Except for...man I am tired. haha, I like the word chipper.
22nd-Oct-2005 03:05 pm - Haha, good day.
me
Wow, my tummy is growling..hmmm I should go home and eat. But first let me tell you what. so I had a date last night..Justin- don't tell mom about it, as she will begin to believe that one date signifies the fact that we are going to get married...of course. But it was a fun date. We went to an improv comedy show...freaking hilarious. Laughed the whole time. then we went and got some ice-cream, and talked for like 2 hours. Yeah- nice boy...but do I think anything will come of it...not necessairly. The night was a lot of fun and all, but there was no spark, very comfortable person to be around, but I would almost put money on that he wouldn't ask me out again. But honestly, I am totally fine with that. I was just glad it wasn't one of those awkard dates. And I had fun...so its all good. I took a test today for my New Testament class--- 96.6% oh yeah, who rocks!!! Then I just got done with a bunch of homework for one of my classes. Yay!!
Oh man though, people let me tell you...I am just so happy right now. My life is just so enjoyable. I swear someone must be drugging me or something...haha, but yeah, my stress level is super low at this point in time, and I love school, And its just good. So word of wisdom from Robin- Be happy by yourself, don't rely on others to make you happy, because "others" won't always be around. So figure out who you are, and what you like to do and be happy. And life will be grand.
Oh, and current fav. word -> Skivvies- "a trademark of underwear, especially men's underwear". haha, its just a fun word to say...if you are reading this, just say it out loud, it brings happiness and joy.
7th-Oct-2005 04:18 pm - Thinking....
me
I am scared of things that I have no control over, like other peoples emotions. I’m scared that I will have regrets… so I’m gonna start living my life so that I won’t have any years from now...no more what ifs. I’m scared of screwing things up before they have a chance to become anything good. I’m scared of waking up and finding myself alone in this world. So I’m gonna do something about it. I’m going to let down this wall that I have been forever building day after day, and I’m going to put myself out there and just see what happens. Because what’s the worst that can happen....and I know I can recover from that. And what’s the best that can happen....and that will keep me moving on. Because today, I am happy.
22nd-Sep-2005 10:14 am - hectic school
me
Wow...let me tell you, wow. This week has been sooooo amazingly hectic. I realized on Monday that I was behind in a couple of my classes, and I had some stuff...well a lot of stuff due on Wednesday. Unfortunately Mondays and Tuesdays are already my busiest days ever. So on Monday after classes were over at 6pm, I was supposed to go to FHE at the bishops’ home, but I had forgotten that I had told some girls in my sewing class that I would go to the store with them as we needed to buy fabric for our next project. So I had to skip out on FHE and go to the store instead. We ended up spending about 2 and a half hours in that store getting a pattern and fabric, and odds and ends, zippers, matching thread etc. Anyways so I got home around 9, and had to go to Jue’s house as I needed use of her computer. I was there working on homework until 12:30 pm, so I just crashed there on her couch, as I really didn’t want to walk home that late at night. Woke up the next morning and my back was achy, and I got to campus at 9, went to class, then went to the Marriott Center for devotional, President Hinckley came!!! Yay, he was dedicating the new Joseph F Smith Building. Then when that was over I had 3 more classes before the day was over. And in my last class I had a quiz and I got a 27 and a half out of 50…ouch. Yeah that was depressing. So I went home, ate some dinner and then went back to campus, to do homework and go to an open sewing lab, so I could finish my first project. I left campus at 11:30 that night. So needless to say…crash and burn that night. So Wednesday I was on campus at 8am to finish homework….miraculously I finished everything, and today has been reasonably peaceful. Yeah, go college.
Oh man, and I tried to give blood on Monday, but they couldn’t find a vein in either arm. So I got stabbed twice and nothing…but pain. And now my right arm is really funky; whenever I bend it or even just trun it sometimes, I can feel something going on inside my arm that isn’t right. It’s really hard to explain, but it’s getting worse, and now it usually sends a jolt of pain down my arm, and it’s really difficult to pick things up now. Its okay as long as I’m not bending it….which is kind of difficult not to do. Yeah so if this keeps up I may be going to see a doctor…yes, looking forward to that.
Hmmmm ok, so that’s a slight update as far as classes are going, and the tragicness of my arm. I can’t think about anything else that I should let you know about. So I shall depart.
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